I miss you

I miss you. I miss the real you, when we could talk about anything. When we were best friends and no matter what we were doing, there were never any awkward moments. I look back on my days of my naivete and you'd think I would regret some of the decisions I made with you. But I don't, I miss the days when it was all meaningless. Those days were full of bliss and innocence and I loved that. You put up with me through everything and I'm not sure how, but I love you for that. But I miss the real you. I miss how you were before him. Before I became less and less important. That hurts more than anything, because there is nothing I can do about it. I am happy for you, but I just hate that this is what it takes for you to be happy. I miss how you were before you found him, when you were content with just me.

I'm fixated on you. You consume my thoughts, and my writing. You are my muse. And all I want to do is thank you. My gift is nothing without a subject to write about, just as an artist is nothing without something to paint. I hate you and love you for it, and the irony is awful. As much as i hate you, you are my key to the creativity I have.

Today

My creativity seems to have left me today. I seem to only have creativity when i am depressed or angry or distressed about something. and these last two days have been good, I've been happy for some dumb reasons, but that's alright, I don't care why I'm happy as long as I am. I did finish write a song recently which i am contemplating posting here. Ill think about it. That's probably all for today though so bye <3

Original poem: Comatose

Your eyes, Your hair
These are the parts of you that make my words stutter
and my heart flutter
I am in a state of ecstasy 
and in a world of my own
I want my words to flow out
Unto the street, unto the world
to all who wish, and some who don't.
I want the world to know how I  feel 
I am done caring about stereotypes,
About taboo's, what people think.
Let them talk, let them think
All they want
Love isn't an animal to be tamed
Brought out when its told
Love is a river, and ocean
And unstoppable force
Society is but a twig to true love
So lets the break the rules, fuck the norm
Conformity is nothing but a myth
If my feelings are not normal
Tell me what is
Normal is impossible
Normal doesn't exist
We are ALL different
and one day we find someone
who  is just as different as us
Whats so wrong with that?
Love breaks all boundaries
Age, race, religion
So go find your lover of mutual weirdness
They are looking for you too
And you may never expect where
or how you find them
But they are somewhere
Ive found mine
But time will tell if we are meant to be
She has Beautiful eyes
And Perfect hair
 :)

"When I was 5 years old, my mother always told me that happiness was the key to life. When I went to school, they asked me what I wanted to be when I grew up. I wrote down "happy". They told me I didn’t understand the assignment.
I told them they didn’t understand life."

John lennon

Girl, I need you like I need air
And f*ck those other honeys, I will be there
I never ever, ever thought that I would be scared
Of living in a world when you're not there
My biggest fear is that you won't give a f*ck
When you play this song on your MacBook
"Is that CG, yo, he is old news
I'm way too busy with my new dude."
The best time I ever had
Is kissing in my shitty ass Kia van
I wish that it was me instead
Feeling all your pain
I know that it is different now
It will never be the same but
I swear to God, our love special
You can be my number 2 like one pencil
Or you can be my number one, I will let you
In on my life, I've changed so much since you
Left, that hotel room
And if you're with another guy, go tell dude
That he can never keep us apart, he needs a better door
He'll always be the guy that you settle for
I'll always be the guy you're s'posed to be with
Where the f*ck is Cupid when you need him
I'm so Sam Cooke, I need tea for two
I play Sam Cooke and I think of you

One of my original poems "Mirror, Mirror"

Mirror, Mirror on the wall
Who's the next atop to fall?
Is it you to be mixed around?
Thrown from the heights into the ground
No one's perfect, all are flawed
All deserve a second chance but what about a third or fourth?
Is it too late for one last dance?
A liar then, A liar now
Manipulating is his way
And yet she keeps on going back
In spite of all the past mistakes
Soon you will lose all respect
Not that much now is left
Mirror, Mirror, Tell me now
Who's the next to fall, fall down?

You are Beyond Beautiful. You blow me away, all the time and I don't think you know it. But its true and your an amazing person and really smart to go along with it. i hope you know who you are because you are awesome.

Check this out, this has really impacted me lately

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=JVnMNriFDmY

One of my favorite poems

If You Forget Me by Pablo Neruda

I want you to know
one thing.

You know how this is:
if I look
at the crystal moon, at the red branch
of the slow autumn at my window,
if I touch
near the fire
the impalpable ash
or the wrinkled body of the log,
everything carries me to you,
as if everything that exists,
aromas, light, metals,
were little boats
that sail
toward those isles of yours that wait for me.

Well, now,
if little by little you stop loving me
I shall stop loving you little by little.

If suddenly
you forget me
do not look for me,
for I shall already have forgotten you.

If you think it long and mad,
the wind of banners
that passes through my life,
and you decide
to leave me at the shore
of the heart where I have roots,
remember
that on that day,
at that hour,
I shall lift my arms
and my roots will set off
to seek another land.

But
if each day,
each hour,
you feel that you are destined for me
with implacable sweetness,
if each day a flower
climbs up to your lips to seek me,
ah my love, ah my own,
in me all that fire is repeated,
in me nothing is extinguished or forgotten,
my love feeds on your love, beloved,
and as long as you live it will be in your arms
without leaving mine

This is how I feel today

Some people can just make the dumbest decisions. It kills me to see that to be perfectly honest with you. I LOVE controversy. But something lately has fucking pissed me off. I understand people making mistakes, it happens. but some people make mistakes that fuck up other people reputations and lives. And i just cant take that, because if i was in their situation i wouldn't take advantage. But whatever, all will turn out alright, nothing to worry bout haha